Dystopia Intensifies as Startup Lets You Take Out a Micro-Loan to Get Fast Food

It's never been a better time to be an American consumer. Incredible new technological advancements in fast food technology have given us burritos delivered by drones, Taco Bell powered by AI, and surge pricing on Wendy's burgers.

But all those treats cost money — something many Americans seem to be running low on. Not to worry, because a new partnership between two beloved startups is making sure you never have to go without.

This week, DoorDash announced that it's partnering with AI-powered payment platform Klarna to allow empty-walleted consumers to take out micro-loans to pay for food and grocery delivery.

On checkout, DoorDash users will soon see Klarna as a payment option along the usual options like debit cards and Apple Pay. If your bank account is empty and payday is a ways off, Klarna will offer three options: pay in full, pay in four interest-free installments, or pay later, presumably with interest.

DoorDash's press release is full of words like "empowers," "freedom," and "flexibility" — a welcome reminder that in this country, liberty and commerce are synonyms. While there's no word yet how burger loans will effect DoorDash's army of migrant gig workers, we can probably rest easy knowing that freedom and empowerment are top of mind.

And when it comes to commerce, no financial vehicle typifies deep-fried freedom like micro-loans. Though versions of microlending have always been present in the US, the commercial micro-loan fad really took hold in the early 90s, as international firms lending to the global poor set their sights on America's down-and-out.

After Ronald Reagan's destruction of New Deal social spending and organized labor, America's poor became cash cows for global micro-lenders like ACCION — and their numbers have been growing ever since. In the following decades, micro-loan companies would pop up in strip malls across the country, offering temporary relief for struggling wage earners, and guaranteed returns for lenders. Heck, even our democratic leaders love micro-loans.

Today, micro-loans are everywhere, empowering Americans of all ages with the flexibility to "buy now, pay later." When it comes to paying for treats, today's consumers are spoiled for choice as startups like Afterpay guarantee you'll never have to go without jeans, groceries, or makeup.

Indeed, DoorDash is only the latest of a huge list of American companies to add the freedom and flexibility of micro-loans to its lineup. In the words of President George Bush: "go shopping!"

More on food delivery: This New Paper About Eating Out of Plastic Containers Is a Bit Terrifying

The post Dystopia Intensifies as Startup Lets You Take Out a Micro-Loan to Get Fast Food appeared first on Futurism.