Fireballs, foxholes, and cryogenic suspension: Redfin CEO Glenn Kelman’s greatest quips

We’re going to miss Glenn Kelman’s earnings calls.

Redfin’s CEO, who last week announced a $1.75 billion deal to sell the tech-driven real estate company to Rocket Companies, has a rare knack for delivering colorful quotes and off-the-wall zingers — keeping analysts and investors entertained, at least, in what’s normally a dry and obligatory exercise for public companies.

“Plan B is to drink our own urine or our competitors’ blood — stay in the foxhole,” Kelman said in one striking example from June 2024, emphasizing Redfin’s resilience and determination in response to an analyst who asked about the company’s backup plan if mortgage rates were to rise unexpectedly again.

Redfin’s brand remain will intact after the deal. But as part of a larger company, Kelman won’t have quite the same opportunity to hold court with Wall Street, even if he does end up joining Rocket CEO Varun Krishna on earnings calls.

After this came up on the latest GeekWire Podcast (while discussing the deal with Stephanie Reid-Simons of RealEstateNews.com and Tim Ellis, former Redfin market analyst) I was inspired to compile a list of Kelman’s best earnings quips, by mining GeekWire’s reporting and creating a database of transcripts in NotebookLM.

(This doesn’t include his legendary quote on 60 Minutes in November 2007, “Real estate, by far, is the most screwed up industry in America.” Nor does it include his writing, such as the 2012 essay in which he observed, “We have a government to solve the problems that greedy, short-sighted businessmen like me can’t.”)

The end result is a case study in using levity, candor, and humility — plus ample references to pop culture — to navigate the ups and downs of leading a business.

With that, let’s turn it over to Glenn …

“I spent half the Super Bowl in the bathroom or upstairs making nachos because I didn’t want to see these competitor ads.” Kelman explained in 2024 that Redfin saw more website traffic despite rival CoStar Group’s massive spending on Homes.com ads during the big game.

“Nobody is more afraid of Amazon than me. I mean, those guys are animals.” Addressing questions about a 2019 collaboration between Amazon and Realogy, Kelman offered this perspective as context for his opinion that the partnership wouldn’t amount to much. He was right.

“Redfin believes in technology, but technology on its own is just a glorified toaster oven.” Describing Redfin’s culture and approach to innovation, Kelman said in May 2019 that what really matters is its people and how they treat each other.

“This analogy makes no sense, except the images of the exploding blood and the flamethrower are what always come to mind when people ask me about today’s housing market.” Kelman made a vivid comparison to the movie The Thing in a November 2020 earnings call.

“If you are not scared running a seasonal, cyclical business with fixed costs, there’s something wrong with you.” This how Kelman, in November 2021, explained his clear-eyed, pragmatic and “jittery” approach to running a business that depends so much on external market forces.

“Our goal is just to gain share every quarter for the rest of time.” Kelman explained the company’s rare form of eternal KPI in a February 2021 earnings call.

“iBuying isn’t going away. … It isn’t the end-all and be-all, the future of real estate. And it isn’t the alpha and omega, the death, the Vishnu god of destruction.” In the November 2021 call, Kelman used cosmic mythology to dismiss extreme views on iBuying, in which Redfin and other real estate companies bought and sold homes. He was wrong about it not going away.

“It’s sort of like a Delayed Blast Fireball, if you’ve ever played Dungeons & Dragons.” On an August 2019 call, Kelman offered this geeky analogy to explain the long-term impact of mass media on brand value.

“They were really in the sort of cryogenic suspension like Han Solo at the end of The Empire Strikes Back.” On a May 2021 call, Kelman explained the impact of bankruptcy and a scuttled acquisition by CoStar on RentPath’s business prior to its acquisition by Redfin.

“Man, that sounded so canned, but I swear, I just made it up on the spot.” That was Kelman’s self-assessment after making this-off-the-cuff comment on a February 2021 call: “What we’re trying to do is grow long term by offering a durable value proposition to customers and investors.”

“I love the idea of a music soundtrack next quarter. Let’s guide to that.” Kelman responded in May 2022 to an analyst’s suggestion that his prepared remarks should be accompanied by a dramatic score.

And it seems only appropriate to end with Kelman’s concluding remarks from the company’s most recent call, in February: “We’re going all-out, baby. Thanks for coming to the call. We appreciate how many of you show up. And now, we’re going to get back to selling houses.”